I'm Having A GOOMEUF Moment

I had the bleeding misfortune of being sat behind a bloke with serious body odour issues on the bus today (I would have switched seats but, well, there wasn't another vacant one). Mind you, it was a reasonably-lengthed journey from the heart of town right through beyond Marine Parade. Can someone tell me why some people just STINK? This idiot reeked of prior perspiration dried and coagulated layer upon layer on his well-blemished skin, and donned a top so limp and filthy a sow would have been hard-pressed to feel comfortable in it. Let me just add that even the kindest (or most impotent) of eyes would have done extremely well to avert the sight of his balding pate made to shimmer in the sunlight by copious and abominable quantities of unidentified (gladly left so) grease.

Look, durians are banned aboard the public transport vehicles precisely because they emit an odour, one SOME among us find unpleasant. Why don't we outlaw stinky individuals the MASS MAJORITY among us would be euphemising to merely describe as 'unpleasant'? I am not asking everyone to spend wads of money on Davidoff or Dunhill or even Zara fragrances like I do (just by the way "Only the Brave" by Diesel is my favourite scent for this summer, and, at S$99 with free gifts thrown in, is a real steal). There is no need for one to 'wow' the rest of the bus (though I do appreciate being 'wowed' by pleasant olfactory surprises) or to prominently assert their status through ostentatious fashion articles, but it is far from courteous to force those around you to have to hold their breath for prolonged periods of time.

Is it too much to ask that individuals maintain a decent level of personal grooming and presentability? Start by keeping parts of your own treasured anatomy clean (all the more pertinent with H1N1 making its presence felt), and if that doesn't work there are such friendly items as deodorants costing not more than three bus rides widely available in most convenience stores and supermarkets, and hence dirty old boys have little excuse for their state of being. In a society that rightly prides itself on high standards of hygiene and cleanliness (and on good moral groundings not excluding the extension of basic and fundamental courtesies to other individuals), such ugly stains must be expeditiously cleaned up.